📓 Blog Post 9– “So Here’s How Some Guys Actually Grade Relationships”

📓 Blog Post – “So Here’s How Some Guys Actually Grade Relationships”
✍️ By Chaos Samuel

Ladies and gentlemen — let’s clear the air real quick 💨.

The words friend, close friend, even love… get thrown around so loosely these days it’s basically comedy 🎭. Some of you out here calling people you met twice your “day ones.” Be serious 😐.

So let me break down how I grade the people around me. Male friendships? Simple. Female connections? That’s where it gets layered 🧩.

👥 Male Friendships (My System)

Stranger ➡️ Acquaintance ➡️ Friend ➡️ Close Friend (brother-level).

That’s it. That’s how I see it.

If I’ve only met you once or twice? You’re a stranger 🚶.
Three times? Fine, you’re an acquaintance 👋.
A friend? That’s someone I actually vibe with 😎.
Close friends? That’s brother-tier. Family without the blood 🤝.

It’s clean. No extra titles. No overthinking 🧠.

👩 Female Connections (How Some Men Grade Them)

Now for the ladies 💅. And to be clear — this isn’t me, this is how some men will break it down 🫣.

🔹 Stranger – Never met, or met once or twice.
And just to be clear, if something happened here and you never meet again? Yeah, Gen Z calls that a one-night stand 😬. Don’t dress it up as “love at first sight.” Be honest — was it love, or just two people in heat 🔥?

Let’s be real: if it really was love at first sight, why do so many people bounce after a few rounds claiming they “lost interest”? Sorry to burst your bubble 🫧, but sometimes what people call love is just a temporary rush — strong feelings, weak foundation 🫠.

And even if it was love at first sight — some of you have loved a whole lot 😏. Some of you are in the double digits 🔢. If those “great loves” were stacked together, it’d look like the Great Wall of China 🧱👀.

🔹 Acquaintance – Seen a few times. Civil. Surface-level conversations 🙃.

🔹 Friend – Someone he vibes with. Conversations, laughter, decent trust 😂🤝.

🔹 Close Friend (sister) – Feels like family 👩‍❤️‍👨. Gifts, support, looking out for you — but nothing more 🎁💐. And to be clear: this doesn’t mean you get to make demands like you’re the center of his universe. Respectfully, you aren’t 🙅‍♂️.

🔹 Princess Tier – The pre-dating zone 👑. Maybe the deed already happened, maybe he’s just testing for long-term potential.

Don’t ask “What are we?” — this is the princess tier 💬. You’ll get treated well, almost queen-like. Shopping 🛍️, restaurants 🍣, thoughtful gifts 🎁, maybe even a flight ✈️. But there’s a ceiling ⛔. Anything more? Reserved for the queen.

🔹 Dating (Queen) – Total commitment 💍. If you reach here, he sees you as the potential mother of his kids 👶. Loyalty becomes law ⚔️.

And yes — the perks scale with how rich he is 💰.

✈️ If he’s comfortable? Trips, fine dining, thoughtful gifts 🍷🕯️.
💎 If he’s wealthy? Upgrades: private jets, yachts, designer bags, luxury experiences 🛥️👜.

As to how rich? That’s fate’s roll of the dice 🎲. Either way, Queen status grows with him 🌹.

⚖️ Final Clarifications

This grading isn’t universal ⚠️. Not all men. But it is some 👀.

Don’t take offense if you see yourself in one of these tiers. Reality stings, but it’s still reality 🪞.

And if you don’t like how certain men grade? Find one who grades differently 🧭. Simple.

At the end of the day, everyone has their own system.
This is just one lens 👁️.

💭 Side Note From Me

Damn… aren’t I basically a full-on coach at this point? 😂

Looking back at my previous blogs, I’m starting to think: all this being free is kinda a waste.
Oh well — it’s not like I could monetize it in the first place. Read for free 😅. Take what you need 📝.

But real talk — for those of you who might want marriage counselling, advice, or even just a life check-up, I could be your digital counsel or therapist.
You drop your take, I blog my take.
You get value, I get value — preferably in cash 💸😂.

Maybe we call it Chaos Coaching™ — therapy, but with memes and McChickens. 🍔🥤✨

Just kidding . Go meet the professionals.

Don’t trauma dump me.
I’m only 18 with a blog and a McChicken fund, not Dr. Phil 🍔🥤📚.

— Chaos Samuel

✒️ Writing without permission. Living without labels.